Monthly Archives: December 2015

A Journalist’s Privilege



A blurb from an article caught my eye recently–the journalist made mention of his gratefulness to the subject of the interview for trusting him with the story. (It was the first time the girl–who was part of a high profile murder and abduction case–has spoken with the media since the incident.)

You don’t see that very often, any more.

You do see a lot of forced exposure–leaked information, shocking revelations (usually purchased from sources close to the subject)–but gently handled storytelling isn’t something that seems to be popular in our media these days.

Now, we do need reporters to break big stories that reveal wrongdoing, or blow whistles, and we need to hear about certain events, no matter how unpleasant.

But we also need to remember that events happen to people. And while they might be publicized, say, to help find a person who’s been abducted or bring a predator to justice, the fact is, it’s a very, very private matter for the person it happened to. It’s helpful for us to know what happened, for prevention and future safety. It can be encouraging, if the person sharing has a message for others that would be empowering, but ultimately, it’s not really any of our damn business, what happens to other people.

It should be shared softly, and it should be sincerely appreciated when it is.

And then maybe people would share more often.

When I had the chance to interview Dani Tolbert (of fame) for GORGO Magazine recently, we talked about her fitness coaching, her famous arms, and her kids…and then the conversation turned to something she doesn’t talk about very often; an abusive relationship in her past.

I asked if she was willing to share about it, in this article, and she agreed…a very ballsy thing to do, and something that I truly believe will do what she wants it to do; encourage other women in a similar situation and help them see that they’re not alone.

I’m not being trite when I say it was an honor for Dani to share her story with me, and allow me to share it with GORGO‘s audience…it’s one of the highest forms of professional satisfaction when what you do communicates with an audience, and when it’s something important, and someone’s story, it’s extremely gratifying.

Thank you, Dani, for being willing to share, and trusting me to help you do it.

(GORGO is available only online, but the subscription is totally worth it. Real fitness, real women, real talk.)

How Much Do You Hate Winter? Take This Quiz and Find Out…

winter 1


I’ll bet I hate winter more than you.

We could reason it out, argue about it, but in the spirit of Internet science, let’s just take a quiz that I devised, based on principles that are supportive of my logic and the outcome of me as winner.

(That’s how I like to handle all of my important debates in life.)

Have you ever cried about winter?

No? Then you’re an amateur.

I wasn’t crying in the above pic, but it was getting close.

Does winter keep you from doing the things you love?

winter 2


Okay, so I still do a little yoga. And I will strength train. And do jiu jitsu.

But it takes gargantuan effort when it’s cold.

Even activities and pursuits that bring me joy are difficult to jump start when the temps fall below 60. Tom Hardy and Eric Ripert could both show up on my doorstep, with a pan of brownies and a bottle of Fireball, and if it was the middle of winter, I would be unable to get out from under my seven blankets and answer the door. (I might tell them to go ahead and break it down, though. But winter also dulls my wits, so I might be paralyzed even in the problem-solving sphere.)

Would You Take a Blanket From a Child?

I would, and I did, for the above picture. That’s my 11yo’s football fleece blankie, that his grandmother made him for Christmas. And I ripped it off of him. Because I was cold. Winter makes animals of us. (Calm down, Mom. I gave it back. This is just a joke for my blog. Sort of.)

Would You Pillage a Village?

In a totally related aside, I found out a short time ago through a DNA test that I have Scandinavian DNA. (In fact, I have a lot of it.) I was stumped at first–my family is Irish and Welsh…and not really anything else. (Seriously, on paper, my DNA is like a person straight outta Great Britain.)

The source of the DNA test (it’s a long story, but I know, weird thing to do) explained that most British people have a lot of Scandinavian DNA because of viking incursion.

For anyone who knows me well, the idea that I’m at all Scandinavian is hilarious–precisely because of my aversion to cold. When you think of Scandinavians, you think of the Arctic Circle, and reindeer…those are not things associated with me. But that aspect of my heritage makes sense to me because…I could totally understand the entire premise of vikings, if I put myself in their situation.

You see, I’m a pretty peaceful person.

I’m a practicing Christian, who also loves the teachings of Buddha–I’m just down for peace and love, in general.

But when I’m cold, all bets are off.

I could totally get, if I lived in a cold place during MEDIEVAL TIMES WITH NO ELECTRICITY, the premise that if warmer places existed, we need to go there, now, and take those places from the inhabitants. If they really deserve to live there, they’ll beat us. At least we’ll die warm.

(Mom, again…I’m kidding. I would never pillage a village. And the vikings were marauders who did horrible things. But…they were cold. People do things when they’re cold.)

So, to sum up…maybe you do hate winter as much as I do.

I won’t jostle for primacy on this one, because I believe together, we can beat winter.

Or at the very least, our despisement of it will keep us warm.

Actually…it won’t. We’ll just have to wait for spring.

(All kidding aside, winter is no joke for some. Oklahoma City area folks, did you know that a donation of just $11 to the Homeless Alliance provides showers, 2 meals, warmth & other services at the Day Shelter? Consider a gift to the Homeless Alliance this winter, and if you need to direct a person in need to shelter, food and clothing, remember to call 2-1-1.)